Return to Port
Intro
(Hey! Hey! Hey!)
Verse 1
We were sailin' fine on the open sea, from Tortuga down to Spain,
we hit every target, every quarter, through the sunshine an' the rain,
forty merchant ships a year, me hearties, an' we never missed a raid,
till a pigeon brought a memo, an' here's what the Admiral said:
Pre-Chorus
Effective Monday mornin', for the culture of the crew,
all hands report in person, an' that means you, an' you, an' you!
Chorus
Return to port! (Return to port!)
Five days a week on the dock!
We plundered fine from the open sea,
now we're punchin' a clock!
Badge in! (Badge in!) Badge out! (Badge out!)
An' the meetin's runnin' long!
We were the terror of the seven seas,
now we're singin' the company song!
Verse 2
Now we row an hour each way to work in a leaky little skiff,
an' the dock parkin's twelve doubloons a day, an' they tow ye if ye drift.
There's no hammocks of our own no more, it's hot-hammockin', first come,
an' the open-plan galley's so loud ye can't hear yerself drink rum.
There's a Collaboration Cove with no windows an' no air,
an' the free snacks in the break room are just hardtack an' despair.
Pre-Chorus
Per my last memo, crew, an' just to be clear,
the floggin's will continue till morale improves 'round here! (Aye, aye!)
Chorus
Return to port! (Return to port!)
Five days a week on the dock!
We plundered fine from the open sea,
now we're punchin' a clock!
Badge in! (Badge in!) Badge out! (Badge out!)
An' the meetin's runnin' long!
We were the terror of the seven seas,
now we're singin' the company song!
Verse 3
Now we haven't sunk a ship since March, but the badge swipes are sublime,
an' the Admiral's real proud of us, 'cause we all showed up on time.
An' he sent his thanks by pigeon from his yacht in Montego Bay,
'cause the Admiral? He's remote, lads. He'll be back in port... someday.
Bridge
We were never closer as a crew than out where the water's wide,
when we'd sing across the dark at night from port to starboard side.
Ye can't put the sea in a cubicle. Ye can't badge a sailor in.
A pirate tied up to a pier is just a sail without the wind.
Final Chorus
Return to port?
We're cuttin' the lines from the dock!
So here's me badge, an' here's me key,
an' ye can keep yer clock!
Sail out! (Sail out!) Sail on! (Sail on!)
The Admiral can row!
We were the terror of the seven seas,
an' that's where we're gonna go!
Outro
Out of office. (Out of office!)
Not returnin'. (Not returnin'!)