Highly Capable
Intro
Verse 1
Got a letter from the Rock, and I read it lying down.
Seems a man who's never met me thinks I'm the hardest worker in town.
He saw a song go up one Saturday, five minutes, click and send,
and he wrote, "The claimant's highly capable." Well, why thank you, friend.
Pre-Chorus
I've been called a lot of things,
but never that before,
so I had it printed on a T-shirt,
and I wore it to the store.
Well, I wore it to the door.
Chorus
'Cause I'm highly capable.
It's written in my file.
I can lie in bed for twenty hours
and do it with some style.
I can drag and I can drop
for five minutes in a row.
I'm highly capable, honey.
The insurance told me so.
Verse 2
I can rate my pain from one to ten, and I've never once said one.
I can fill the same form fourteen times and thank 'em when I'm done.
I can beat a childproof bottle on the second or third try,
and I walked out to the mailbox, made it back by the Fourth of July.
Used to run a server farm for a company you know.
Now I run a heating pad on medium, nice and slow.
Pre-Chorus
I've been called a lot of things,
but this one's here to stay,
so I put it on my LinkedIn,
and I took a nap that day.
Chorus
'Cause I'm highly capable.
It's written in my file.
I can lie in bed for twenty hours
and do it with some style.
I can drag and I can drop
for five minutes in a row.
I'm highly capable, honey.
The insurance told me so.
Verse 3
By his math, five good minutes makes a full-time working week,
so I'm an Olympic diver every time I hit the sheets.
And I bet there's a fella with a camera in a Buick down the block,
and if I take the trash out on a Tuesday, that's CrossFit on the clock.
And he's counting all the energy drinks they air-drop by the crate,
so he's sure I'm running a tech incubator where the founders all work late.
But the truth is, it's enough caffeine to kill an elephant dead
just to keep me up till noon, and by one I'm back in bed.
Bridge
And the thing is, he ain't wrong.
I'm capable. Just not the way he thinks.
I can take the worst year of my life
and make it something you can sing.
I had five good minutes Saturday,
and I didn't waste 'em, see.
I spent every one on a song for you.
Put that in the file for me.
Final Chorus
'Cause I'm highly capable.
It's written in my file.
I can lie in bed for twenty hours
and do it with some style.
I can drag and I can drop
for five minutes in a row.
I'm highly capable, honey,
and now the whole world knows.
Outro
Upload time: five minutes.
Claimant is now lying down.